Foodie and Grumpy Season Two (c) 2016 ADB, Inc.
EPISODE #1 (Part 2)
F: Taking our lives in our hands, let's check the refrigerator. You have milk which has gone bad, beer, soft drinks, half a pack of sandwich ham that expired last week, half a jar of pickles, some mayonnaise and mustard, some of those plastic-wrapped yellow slices that you think are cheese, two cans of fruit cocktail, and two Tupperware boxes of ... something moldy.
G: Yeah, I gotta dump that stuff so I can take boxes back to Mom. They were some leftovers she sent me home with after Sunday dinner last week.
F: More like last month.
G: Last week, I swear!
F: Do I need to call her and ask?
G: Not really. Let me scrape those into the trash and put them into the dishwasher.
F: Now, what's missing from your refrigerator?
G: A decent bottle of wine for when I have a lady friend over. I got a bargain on something from Oklahoma.
F: Red or white?
G: Sort of pink, I think.
F: We'll discuss wine another day, except to mention that you're doing it all wrong. Now, what else is missing?
G: I think I have everything I need except a roll of ready-mixed chocolate-chip cookie dough.
F: You bake cookies?
G: No, I eat the raw cookie dough as a snack.
F: Never mind that for now, but please do not do it again. Even the package says not to do that. One more time, tell me what's missing.
G: Well, I guess I might need another can of fruit cocktail?
F: How about anything fresh? Anything in the vegetable crisper?
G: More beer.
F: [Sigh.] How about some fresh vegetables?
G: They go bad before I can eat a whole package of anything. I get by with salad bars in restaurants.
F: How about eggs? You eat eggs, don't you?
G: I have been known to scramble them, but that makes a lot of mess and I end up buying a new frying pan.
F: You could just hard boil them.
G: Too complicated. I'd have to buy a self-timing cooker.
F: Boil them in a pan of water for 20 minutes.
G: Too complicated. I'd have to listen for the timer to ding which means I can't wear the headphones for my video games.
F: Maybe your mother could boil them for you. Anyway. Let's check the freezer. Two TV dinners and ... something that might have been meat a year or two ago. What is it?
G: I think it's some hamburger I didn't have time to cook. The last time I grilled burgers for a lady friend, there was meat left over and she didn't want to take it to her dog.
F: Lucky dog. In future, you need to label things you put into the freezer with the month -- and in your case the year -- you put it there. If it has a birthday, throw it out.
G: Sounds like work, but okay.
END OF PART TWO
F: Taking our lives in our hands, let's check the refrigerator. You have milk which has gone bad, beer, soft drinks, half a pack of sandwich ham that expired last week, half a jar of pickles, some mayonnaise and mustard, some of those plastic-wrapped yellow slices that you think are cheese, two cans of fruit cocktail, and two Tupperware boxes of ... something moldy.
G: Yeah, I gotta dump that stuff so I can take boxes back to Mom. They were some leftovers she sent me home with after Sunday dinner last week.
F: More like last month.
G: Last week, I swear!
F: Do I need to call her and ask?
G: Not really. Let me scrape those into the trash and put them into the dishwasher.
F: Now, what's missing from your refrigerator?
G: A decent bottle of wine for when I have a lady friend over. I got a bargain on something from Oklahoma.
F: Red or white?
G: Sort of pink, I think.
F: We'll discuss wine another day, except to mention that you're doing it all wrong. Now, what else is missing?
G: I think I have everything I need except a roll of ready-mixed chocolate-chip cookie dough.
F: You bake cookies?
G: No, I eat the raw cookie dough as a snack.
F: Never mind that for now, but please do not do it again. Even the package says not to do that. One more time, tell me what's missing.
G: Well, I guess I might need another can of fruit cocktail?
F: How about anything fresh? Anything in the vegetable crisper?
G: More beer.
F: [Sigh.] How about some fresh vegetables?
G: They go bad before I can eat a whole package of anything. I get by with salad bars in restaurants.
F: How about eggs? You eat eggs, don't you?
G: I have been known to scramble them, but that makes a lot of mess and I end up buying a new frying pan.
F: You could just hard boil them.
G: Too complicated. I'd have to buy a self-timing cooker.
F: Boil them in a pan of water for 20 minutes.
G: Too complicated. I'd have to listen for the timer to ding which means I can't wear the headphones for my video games.
F: Maybe your mother could boil them for you. Anyway. Let's check the freezer. Two TV dinners and ... something that might have been meat a year or two ago. What is it?
G: I think it's some hamburger I didn't have time to cook. The last time I grilled burgers for a lady friend, there was meat left over and she didn't want to take it to her dog.
F: Lucky dog. In future, you need to label things you put into the freezer with the month -- and in your case the year -- you put it there. If it has a birthday, throw it out.
G: Sounds like work, but okay.
END OF PART TWO
posted by Federation Commander at 3:24 AM
<< Home