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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Dating during the Zombie Apocalypse

Steve Cole, speaking as someone who had serious challenges in the dating arena when he was single, thinks that dating, romance, and marriage will be far easier during the Zombie Apocalypse.
1. The dating pool is going to be incredibly small. You may have only one or two choices in a group of a dozen people, and those choices won't have much choice other than you. Heck, it's better than being alone and divorce is pretty easy when there is no such thing as a court or a lawyer.
2. During the zombie apocalypse, there isn't much in the way of entertainment other than curling up together and making out, even with someone you would have never married in the pre-apocalypse world.
3. In a world where death is everywhere and your life expectancy is under a year, a little romance is the only
life-affirming activity available. It's the only thing that gives you a reason to stay alive (other than the fear of getting dead).
4. You need someone to watch your back who won't leave you behind when the hordes appear, and the person you sleep with is your closest friend and the person you cling to physically and emotionally.
5. Nobody cares how much money you make. It's how many cans of food you have in your backpack and how many cartridges you have for your gun that count, and you have the same chance to scavenge that stuff as anyone else.
6. A man's "work truck" is actually going to impress potential mates as it is loaded with supplies and guns. There is no need to own a fancy dating car in addition to the "work truck."
7. What church you attend is pretty much irrelevant. There are no atheists in the zombie apocalypse. Everybody prays all the time. It's not like you are going to be arguing over which church bake sale to support.
8. For guys, there is no need to spend money on flowers and jewelry or even to clean up for a date. For women, there is no need to shop for the perfect cocktail dress, nor is there any reason spend an hour doing your hair and makeup. Being the only two unpaired people in the group is pretty much enough to spark a romance. (See above, what the heck else is there for you to do anyway?)
9. There are no arguments over what house to buy or what city to live in, since you'll be on the run. There are no arguments over the budget, since there is no money. There is no argument about where to go on vacation because life during the zombie apocalypse already is a vacation.
10. It's not like you have to meet your sweetheart's parents and ask their blessing. They're almost certainly dead.