THE TOP 10 QUESTIONS A CAPTAIN NEVER WANTS TO ASK DURING A BATTLE

1. If you didn't put the drones in the scatter-pack, where did you put them?

2. You loaded the photons with WHAT, instead of anti-matter?

3. Why is the cook leading the Marines?

4. You did what to the warp engines?

5. If the pilots are still on the ship, who is flying the fighters?

6. What do you mean "he went to the bathroom"?

7. If you're not using the UIM to aim the disruptors, then what are you using it for?

8. What do you mean "you're not sure" whether you launched the real or the pseudo plasma torpedoes?

9. You're using the stasis field generator to keep the vegetables fresh?

10. You're using one of the seeking weapons control channels to steal pay TV ?

Thanks to Geoff Gard. This originally appeared in Captain's Log #18. (c) copyright by Amarillo Design Bureau, Inc.