THE NEW SEASON ON THE ADB TV NETWORK

Here's what's starting this fall (Part one of four)
    

MINOR CRIMES: The police department got a huge federal grant to hire new cops, but a cheating scandal at the police academy disqualified the entire graduating class. Rather than lose the grant money, the police commissioner set up a new department (Minor Crimes) and staffed it with "provisional police officers" who were security guards, mall cops, and crossing guards. Because they are "provisionals" they are not allowed to carry firearms. Headed by Captain Lacey L. Yew (who had sued the department for failing to promote her) the department investigates crimes too small for the "real" police to bother with, freeing them up to investigate "real" crimes. In tonight's episode, two former mall cops uncover a terrorist plot.
    

DEADLIEST PRANKS: Using our own crab boat, we pick up random crab pots from the boats on that other TV show and load them with pranks (big foot, Mayan artifacts, Russian naval mines, and alien technology), then use a camera drone to film the results. In tonight's episode, the Time Bandit pulls up a mermaid.
    

NAKED WITH SHOES: On our survival show, you won't hear the participants constantly griping about stickers and sharp rocks that hurt their feet! We give each pair of survivalists a multi-tool, a roll of duct tape, and a magnifying glass. In this episode, watch Bubba made a stewpot out of duct tape while Susie kills a boar with the multi-tool.
    

THE QUESTION: Our competitive reality show with a story line, the contestants assume the role of counter-terrorist investigators. See them conduct hostage rescue raids with paintball guns and waterboard suspects using Kool-aid. In tonight's episode, contestants must defuse a gigantic (oil-based) paint bomb that is next to their cars.
    

RAINED: Princess Jeanette of the eastern kingdom of Norlina is hiding out at a monastery in the western kingdom of Tejas. Unaccustomed to the dry climate, Princess Jeanette studies magic to bring rain to the desolate land, much to the displeasure of the two local princes (both named Steve) who have been romancing her. In tonight's episode, Jeanette sends her pet Wolf to recover a key herb she needs for a spell to create a swamp.