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Friday, August 08, 2014

101 Ways to Kill the B10, Part 5

41. Assign it to carry oil exports from Planet Alyeska and provide the captain with plenty of booze.

42. Assign "Boom-Boom" Kilgore to the crew.

43. Tell the ESS there is a Federation spy on board

44. Tell environmentalists it uses spotted owls for fuel.

45. Tell environmentalists that its movement kills dolphins.

46. Cancel the warranty.

47. Drop the Black Hole coverage from its insurance to save money.

48. Park a white Bronco in the shuttlebay; the reporters will rip the ship to bits trying to get at it.

49. Paint "this end forward" on both ends.

50. Remind the crew it was built by the lowest bidder.

c. 1994, Amarillo Design Bureau, from Captain's Log #16