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Friday, May 09, 2014

DAY ONE: The Untold Story, Part 2 of 3

Battle Station K3, Commo Room

"Hey, boss, you wanna look at this?" the commo tech asked.

"Let me see it," the supervisor said.

From: Border Outpost K62@Starfelet.com
To: All stations in sector K2
Re: Defense Plans File
Hey, guys, I accidentally deleted the defense plan file, and the boss is holding an inspection in an hour. Can somebody send me a copy?

"Sure, send it to him," the supervisor said. "I spent a year on one of those outposts. It's pretty miserable. I feel for the guy."

"Sending it now, boss," the commo tech said. "I hope he gets it in time."

"Better send it priority," the supervisor said.


Starbase 15, Personnel Center

"Do you have the fleet payroll files completed yet?" the head of Third Fleet humanoid resources asked.

"I just got them in from Pay.Kom," her assistant said. "I gotta say, and not for the first time, that your decision to hire those guys was inspired. They do virtually all our work for us, and at a fraction of the cost."

"That's the thing about the free market," the head of HR said. "Somebody will find a smarter way to do it, and they can underbid the market. They're saving us, what, 60 percent of the cost of doing it ourselves?"

"Yeah, at least that," her assistant said. "We've fired just about all of our employees, except those friends of yours who cash their paychecks and never show up for work."

"Consultants, son, consultants," the head of HR said. "They're the ones who advised us to farm out the work."

"Who would have ever thought that a colony planet right smack on the Klingon border would host a galaxy-class IT company able to process everything so efficiently?" the assistant asked. "They must have an incredibly low pay scale for computer technicians. Yeah, here's the file all right. Promotions, assignments, transfers, they have every single member of the Third Fleet right down to the lowest recruit. They know where everybody is, what ship or base they're on, everything. They even keep track of where to forward the pay credits when a ship moves from one sector to another. These guys work very hard."

"What about the police payrolls?" the head of HR asked.

"Their file is here, too," her assistant said. "Convincing the police to let you handle their payroll was genius."
"We did it for half the cost," the head of HR replied. "And Pay.Kom does it for half of that. That's why you have a triple-A-class apartment on the starbase instead of the C-class room with bunk beds that your position actually rates."
"Now that the files are in," her assistant asked, "can I take the rest of the day off? I took the liberty of scheduling a couples massage with my girlfriend for this afternoon."
"Have a good time," the head of HR replied.