RANDOM THOUGHTS #279

Steve Cole ponders laws we really need.
 

1. Starting with the next model year, all cars produced and/or sold in the USA must have the gas cap on the driver's side. It will be a few years before almost all cars are that way, but when we get that far it will be easier to get gas because everyone will be pulling up to the pumps from the same side.

        

2. There shall be no more television shows that start or stop a minute or two before or after the hour. Everything can start and stop on the hour so that our DVRs can record back-to-back shows on different networks. The last 15 seconds of one hour and the first 15 seconds of the next hour must not include programing, only commercials or announcements.

        

3. No more re-runs shall be posted on DVR menus as new shows, and that specifically includes marathons. Adding a few comments in subtitles or 15 seconds of new video doesn't make a re-run a new show.

        

4. No network will "call" the election for any given state until the polls close in every state. To make that easier, voting in every state will end at 9pm Eastern time (6pm in California) on election day. I do realize that Alaska and Hawaii will stop voting around lunch time. (Early voting eliminates the idea that people have to stop after work to vote. They can stop after work during the early voting period, which can run as late in any non-election evenings as the state wants.)
   

5. Starting with the next model year, the windshield wiper controls of every new car made in America (or imported) must work the same way. The manufacturers can get together and figure out what the rule will be. On my car, you move the lever up to turn it on and down to get one quick sweep. On my wife's car, it's just the opposite.

        

6. During election season, every all-news network must have one prime time hour without any election coverage. That way, people can find out what else is going on in the world. They can coordinate to all do this on different hours.

        
 7. No file-sharing site can post a document for download until it has done a simple search to see if the document has a copyright notice on it, or is essentially the same as a commercial publication. A simple Google search will do. If "Star Fleet Battles" comes up as a retail website, then it's a sure bet that anything marked "Star Fleet Battles" is under copyright. If that means that file sharing sites have to have a human check every document, then so be it.
        
8. Starting with the next model year, the cup holders on all cars (which are designed for cans, not for the 44 ounce cups actually used) will be 1.5 inches apart so that the aforementioned cups will fit.
     
9. Reality TV shows will stop wasting 10 minutes of each episode giving us a preview of what will happen after the next commercial or what happened before the last commercial. They have miles of videotape and can better use the time showing us some new story line.
        
10. Local television stations may not put weather maps or weather warnings in the corner of the screen more than 30 seconds between any two commercials (and all of that in one block). I am tired of being unable to see the show because there is a map (telling me it's going to rain) and a list of the counties where I need to roll up my car windows.