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Friday, August 19, 2016


Steve Cole evaluates the top ten snack foods found in the ADB offices.
1. Cake: It seems somebody is always bringing in a cake to celebrate something or other. The best of the snack food, this is unpredictable, in that it arrives at random intervals rather than being found when I'm hungry. Even worse, the only way to get a piece is to sit at the conference table and make small talk with employees I was trying to avoid.
2. Pepperoni: One of the meat flavored snacks, this has a unique taste, perhaps because it is low fat. Curiously, this is the only meat-flavored snack I am allowed to feed the dog.
3. Styrofoam soaked in salty butter: Steven Petrick buys bags of this stuff at the convenience store on the corner. It says it's made from corn syrup but I am not so sure. It tastes just like it sounds, but hey, butter is good.
4. Cookies: the convenience store makes these huge six-inch home-made cookies in several flavors. (How can they be home-made if they cook them in the store?) Anyway, the only problem with these is if I want one I have to walk four blocks to get it, and then I have to bring back cookies for everyone in the office.
5. Milk bon-bons: I always thought that bon-bons were some kind of confectionery thing like candy, but Jean insists that these are good for my teeth. They seem crunchier than cashews and even drier than peanut butter. Jean at least allows me to feed them to the dog.
6. Leftover candy bars: At the trade show every year, we get bushels of these things, so I always take the time to hide some all over my office in various drawers and files. An hour or two of searching almost always turns up one of them, some of them from last year, some from years earlier. I even found one in a box of old JagdPanthers and it was still good (despite turning green).
7. Peanut butter cookies: These are small and come in a big bag. They're dry but tasty. There is a picture of a dog on the bag which may be why Jean thinks they're safe to feed to Wolf, but she insists on feeding them to him herself.
8. Pre-cooked microwave bacon: Leanna bought me a box of this stuff, and said I could microwave it a few strips at a time. I ate the whole box (12 strips) without microwaving it. I mean, it says "pre-cooked" right on the box and who cares if it's warm or not?
9. Mighty-Minis: These things I found behind the sofa are marked "M&M" so I'm guessing about the name. They seem to have a hard shell surrounding a dab of chocolate. They're one of my favorites but actually finding them is more difficult than it ought to be. Too bad they aren't in stores. I have to wait for the next crop to grow in some dusty out of the way place.
10. Cookie crumbs. Wolf gave me this idea. My desk is always covered in small crumbs of various things I ate days ago, and he would always lick them up. Why share with the dog when I can scoop them up and eat them myself?

Steve's various snacks!