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Friday, February 14, 2014

WebMom on Valentine's Day

WebMom writes:

Over the years I've fielded some questions, heard ideas, and gotten some "interesting" Valentine's Day presents from guys. Many were great, but some were disasters! I thought I'd share some of the successes, some of the failures, and some things I wish I had gotten.

Dear WebMom, I bought this really nifty electric weed-eater just for you!
Ummmm.... so you don't want to do that part of the yard work anymore and are trying to get me to do it? And I am supposed to like having more work added to what I do? Gentlemen, buying your lady a power tool that you want and that she has never expressed an interest in is a Bad Idea.

Dear WebMom, I made you this jewelry box because I noticed yours was getting really full.
Handmade presents are really nice, especially if you took the time to notice what high-end versions have and included some of the same features or noticed what they lacked and included those. I have a handmade wooden rack for my earrings and I love it dearly.

Dear WebMom, I know you are on a diet, but I just bought you this humongous box of chocolates because you like them and it won't bother your diet too much.
(sigh) If your loved one is on a diet, please don't do this. Every piece she eats is not helping and there are so many pieces of chocolate! Maybe try some of her favorite fruits and a couple of small individually wrapped, high-end chocolates that she probably wouldn't get for herself. She won't feel obligated to eat them all at once and will be happy that you were helping her and still wanted to give her a little something special. Or try getting her a gift certificate to her favorite store so she can buy something that will better fit the slimmer her (and can buy it in the future when she has reached her goal).

Dear WebMom, I bought you these scales for your bathroom.
Unless you like being in the doghouse, this one is a real no-no. It's basically coming across as a cowardly way of telling her that she's fat and you don't like it. Find some other time to discuss how much you love her and want her to be with you for a very long time and to be healthy.

Dear WebMom, I bought you this slinky nightie.

No, that is what you wanted to see ... try a gift certificate to her favorite clothing store, instead. There's no harm in you dropping a hint that you think she looks sexy in a slinky nightie, though (wink).

Dear WebMom, I bought you this really kewl game. (An hour later) Hey WebMom, can I borrow your really kewl game to play with the guys?
Unless you were lucky and married a Gamer Girl, then this is not a good present. Even if you married one, borrowing "her" present to play with the guys (and not inviting her) is really a Bad Idea. Try getting her something for her hobby or a gift certificate to the store that carries her favorite hobby supplies.

Dear WebMom, I bought you this vacuum cleaner.

Unless you have talked it over with your loved one and she agrees that she wants/needs some appliance, this is a Bad Idea. Even if she agrees that it will be her present, it never hurts to do something special for her -- maybe volunteer to do the vacuuming for her one weekend.

Dear WebMom, I want to take you out to eat for Valentine's Day. (Drives to favorite restaurant, orders huge meal.) WebMom, here's the bill.
No kidding, that really happened to me! If you are going to take your loved one out to eat, pay for it. Otherwise, try fixing something special at home. Sticking her with the bill for your gigantic meal out is rude and should land you in the doghouse where you will eat your gigantic meal alone and supplement it with cold kibble.

Dear WebMom, I thought you might like a "girls' night out" with your BF, so here's some money so you two can go out to dinner, maybe do some shopping, maybe do that pedicure thing you like so much.
Wow! That one would be a hit! Providing the opportunity of a break from a routine is so thoughtful.

Dear WebMom, I bought you these lovely hyacinths.
In theory, that would have been fine as flowers are always appreciated. However, that's when I found out I was allergic to them! (I'd never had them in a room 24/7 before, so I didn't know.) It was a memorable gift and thankfully one that was never repeated. Moral: If you know she's allergic to something, make sure you tell the florist to NOT include it in a bouquet. If you know she loves a particular flower or color, mention that to the florist. Or if you know she likes arranging her own flowers, try to pick what you know she likes.

Finally, Dear WebMom, what should I get for my guy? Men are so hard to buy for!
Well, if your guy showed you this blog, then he undoubtedly wants you to read this part. He'd love something from ADB, Inc. The best thing you can do is set the budget and turn him loose to buy what he wants!