M1A4 Club

On the BBS, when we discuss real-life or hypothetical situations that involve politics, we move them to an alternate reality called "Arth." There Steven Petrick is the ruler of a superpower named Petrovia. In a scenario set in prehistoric times, he described the history of the M1A4 Club. This was written for him and is to the tune of "Darling Clementine."

M1A4 Club

In a region, called Petrovia,
Looking for a better club,
Lived a Petrick, with his hat trick,
That’s his M1A4 Club!

Refrain:
Oh his lethal, oh his lethal,
Oh his lethal wooden Club.
You are upgraded and discarded,
Dreadful sorry, wooden Club.

Light it was and very leafy,
And its branches numbered nine.
Pulled the leaves off, pulled the bark off,
M1A1 was just fine!

Light it was and very handy,
But its branches numbered nine.
Cut them all off, chop some length off,
M1A2 was just fine!

Light it was and not so heavy —
Some more weight would be right fine.
Found a fat stick; handle’s not thick.
M1A3 was just fine!

Heavy was it, but quite smooth —
Stone and bone chips, found he nine.
He put each chip in the tip.
M1A4 is just fine!

Refrain:
Oh his lethal, oh his lethal,
Oh his lethal wooden Club.
You are upgraded and discarded,
Dreadful sorry, wooden Club.

Parody copyright (c) 2010 Jean Sexton and ADB, Inc.