Top Ten Reasons for the Paravians to Go to War with the Rest of the Galaxy

10. A translator-error at "First Contact" when the commander of the Federation Marine brigade, Colonel Hiram Sanders, invited the Paravian delegation to "Join him for dinner."

9. What the Vulcan "Hand-Salute" means in Paravian.

8. The Romulans have all the really cool bird-ship names.

7. All the other empires' fighter-jocks laugh at the "Thunder Duck."

6. To compensate for the plasma torpedoes making the QWT look so ... inadequate.

5. One too many "Why did the Paravian cross the galaxy?" jokes.

4. The inevitable tragedy every time the Paravians met one of those "Oh-so-compulsive" cat species.

3. "But Wing-Commander, the Seltorians just looked so yummy!"

 2. The tragic results of inviting the new Tholian ambassador to tour the climate-controlled hatchery.

And, the number one reason for the Paravians to go to war...

1. One word -- Omelettes.

-- Contributed by Stephen J. Schrader for Captain's Log #30 (c) 2004, ADB, Inc.